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Index of Stories

Top 6 Learnings from the Second 50 Stories

12/27/2017

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There are many challenges and many rewards.
​The first 50 Working Parent Stories produced some surprises. The second 50 stories produced the following learnings:

  1. Working parents are trying very hard to be great parents and great employees.
    Parents repeatedly described the great efforts they put forth to be the best parents possible while delivering strong contributions at work too.
    Example:  Wednesdays and Why I Endure Them

    ​
  2. Some working fathers are starting to face “the choice”.
    As more women are out-earning their spouses, men are sometimes forced to chose between careers and managing the home full-time.

    Example:  Beyond the Benefits

  3. Working mothers are often clear about the fact that they want to set a good example for their kids.
    Mothers often talk about their strong desires to set good examples for their children via their careers.
    Examples:  They Say I'll be Glad and Leading by Example

  4. Some working parents manage “special needs” in addition to traditional parenting and careers.
    These parents are juggling even more than many others. They're inspiring!
    Example:  You Are A Superhero and Some Days I Really Dislike Facebook

  5. Some working mothers still endure a steady stream of “micro discouragements”.
    Even though it's not unusual for parents to work anymore, some mothers still find their commitment to their families questioned (often subtlely) when they pursue careers.
    Example:  Beyond the Benefits​​

  6. Working parents in 29 countries are reading these stories.
    It's a small world after all.
    View the Map

What have you learned from the stories?
Related reading:
  • Top 8 Suprises from the First 50 Stories
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Christmas Eve All-Nighters

12/25/2017

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Submitted by Kelly Irwin
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"I'd finish an 18-hour shift on Christmas Eve day."
Editor's Note: Lots of working parents make sacrifices so that the rest of us can enjoy the holidays. Here's a story from one of them. Thank you, Kelly! 

On Christmas day I can't help but remember back to so many previous years when I slept most of the day. I worked for a grocery store chain in the deli department. We'd work all night making party trays that were ready for pick-up on Christmas Eve. I'd finish an 18-hour shift on Christmas Eve day.

One year was extra special. After working all night, I arrived at my friend George's house, and he asked me to be his wife. (I said yes :)

We worked so hard so that people could have great holiday gatherings. I always fell asleep right after dinner on Christmas Eve and then slept well into Christmas day, almost missing the day completely.

My son recently commented, "You worked hard and dedicated your skills to make other people's holidays, Mom. You should feel proud knowing that you made great party trays for people. And from what I remember as a kid, you enjoyed it. Kudos to you."

He was right. I did love it. 
I'm very proud and blessed to have been able to do that kind of work. For the most part every job I've ever had has given me joy in one way or other.
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Kelly Irwin is a mother and wife who spent 26 years working at Farmer Jack grocery stores, mostly in deli departments. She now provides help and personal care for senior citizens. 
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Breaking the Mold

12/21/2017

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Pointer to a video about Rachel Freier
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"I had to try."
Some parents have a lot of children. Some parents follow religious traditions. And some parents have demanding jobs. This parent broke the mold when she combined all three. Watch this video (~6 min) to learn more about her impressive story on the Megyn Kelly TODAY show. 
Watch another video:
  • Above and Beyond
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Role Models

12/19/2017

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Submitted by The Mama Politic
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"I guess it's not surprising that my husband and I went back to work after our baby was born."
Both of my parents worked when I was growing up. My husband's parents did too. So I guess it's not surprising that my husband and I went back to work after our baby was born. (And soon. I was back part-time after five weeks and full-time when she was nine weeks old.) I need my work to feel happy and connected to the world. My husband understands and is very supportive. We are far from perfect, but he definitely has my back professionally. This may be difficult for some couples to understand. I get that and wonder if maybe it's because they didn't have role models like ours.

While people don't always encourage working moms, I do think we've come a long way. Things are getting better. Back when I was in 3rd grade, my teacher once commented that she was sad for me. Her comment was prompted by the fact that my dad volunteered to attend a class field trip. Dads didn't do that very often back then. My mom had been very busy with job deadlines, and so my dad, who we didn't see as much during the workweek, was thankful to be able to attend. And even at that young age, I remember thinking the teacher's comment was odd because it didn't make me feel sad. I was glad he could come! When I told my mom how my teacher felt, she told me that people said weird things to her too. She also told me that it was "none of their business". I grew up in Chicagoland, where plenty of moms worked, so it's a little surprising that people weren't more supportive.

My husband also endured some negativity because his mom worked. He grew up in a small farming community in rural Missouri with a population of ~1,000. His mom was very ambitious and ran her own tax business. She was almost 41 years old when he was born, and, get this, he was born in April! That meant she was back at work (finishing tax returns) just days after he was born. He was her fourth kid, so by the time he arrived she knew the routine and just did what needed to be done. Her husband, my husband's dad, always supported her work, but apparently it bothered some other people. While she is considered a pillar of the community, she's also been considered "peculiar" by at least a few. My husband told me that once, when he was in school, he got into a fight with someone who made fun of him because his mom worked. And when he misbehaved at school, teachers told him it was because his mother "neglected him".


Hopefully our kids won't have any stories like these. Lots of parents I know, including my husband and me, work very hard to prove the remaining doubters wrong. And we'd like to think that our parents already have. 
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​The Mama Politic is an early-thirties mom, wife, research faculty member, and blogger.
Related reading:
  • It Feels Right
  • New Sheriff in Town
  • The Mama Politic blog
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Holiday Perspective

12/14/2017

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Submitted by Kathy Haselmaier
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"What they didn't list was even more interesting."
When I think of the holidays, stress is the strongest feeling that washes over me. It shouldn't. At least not now. My kids are grown, and I have very little to worry about. But years and years of the real deal (i.e. stress) are hard to shake.

On Thanksgiving, I asked my kids (now 27 and 22) to list their top fun Christmas memories. Here's what they told me:
  • Receiving a ping pong table
  • The "emergency" trip to the airport (to "help some friends"), when they found Grandma and Grandpa getting off the plane instead of our friends' relatives 
  • Seeing a fox on the front porch on Christmas morning
  • Receiving an iPod
  • A Christmas morning scavenger hunt 
  • Artichokes for Christmas dinner
  • Relaxing for multiple days

What they didn't list was even more interesting. They didn't mention the cooking, the cleaning, the decorating, or any of the million other little things that stressed me out each year. They didn't mention any of the holiday concerts or programs we dutifully attended. They didn't mention the way the ornaments were so neatly arranged on the tree. They didn't mention the vast selection of cookies we made, or any of the food prep really ... well, except the artichokes we had that one year. 

The scavenger hunt took place the year we were worried about money and gave them very little. It took them all morning and part of the afternoon to find those few gifts thanks to the never-ending trail of clues and the secret code that had to be deciphered.

These reflections have me thinking. Was my stress self-imposed? Was I trying to please my kids? Was I trying to please someone else? There is no doubt in my mind that a significant amount of my stress resulted from my desire to meet at least perceived expectations of others. And that leads me to wonder; what could each of us do to let others and ourselves off the hook this year? 

There are some articles with good suggestions listed below. In the meantime, what are your thoughts? 

Maybe one of the most valuable gifts we could give each other is the gift of lower expectations.
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Kathy Haselmaier is a mother, wife, and the editor of Working Parent Stories. She and her husband worked full-time while raising their children. Kathy worked in high tech marketing and business operations roles, and holds a BS degree in Computer Science from Michigan Tech.
Suggestions from others:
  • Make It Happen Hack
  • How to not crash and burn this Christmas​
  • 7 Ways to Diffuse Holiday Stress
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How Clean is Your House?

12/13/2017

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Submitted by Kathy Haselmaier
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"I need some semblance of order to be able to think."
Few people I know find it easy to keep their house clean while raising kids, and we were no different. But I need some semblance of order to be able to think (and I mean that quite literally), so we kept things under control by hiring someone to come in and clean once a week. We actually started doing this the month we were married and didn't cut back to every-other-week help until our youngest left for college.

One of the biggest benefits of cleaning help is that you have to pick up your stuff before they arrive. Otherwise they'll spend too much time just moving stuff around. So one night a week (the night before cleaning day) we all engaged in a mad dash to put our stuff away. Everyone pitched in, and it always felt like a crisis. There was whining, there were accusations, and at least one of us was usually disgruntled about something. Then, when the task was finished, we rewarded ourselves with ice cream.

I get that not every family is in a position to hire someone to help with cleaning, but every family could modify this idea to meet at least some of their own cleaning needs.

It's also worth noting that the older the kids got, the less they whined about it. By the time they were in junior high or high school, it was just a thing that they did. What I liked most was that it kept things from getting totally out of control, and the ice cream enabled us to end on a good note.
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Kathy Haselmaier is a mother, wife, and the editor of Working Parent Stories. She and her husband worked full-time while raising their children. Kathy worked in high tech marketing and business operations roles, and holds a BS degree in Computer Science from Michigan Tech.
Related stories:
  • Laundry Lineup
  • Laundry. Wait, what?!
  • How Do You Do It?
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Bonus Content

12/12/2017

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Follow Working Parent Stories on Twitter
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Follow Working Parent Stories on Twitter for stories and bonus content; articles, pointers, hints, and humor. 
If you'd like more encouraging, inspiring, helpful and/or humorous info for working parents, follow us on Twitter @Working_Parents. In addition to letting you know about all Working Parent Stories published, we also re-Tweet tips, pointers, articles and info from other working parents.
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Goodwill Glasses

12/11/2017

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Pointer to video featuring Jas Kaur
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Jas Kaur thinks working makes her a better mom.
Jas Kaur, mother of four, launched Goodwill Glasses last March (2017). As a working mom she strives to help others while setting a good example for her children. She tells her story in this very short video (< 2 min). This article tells her story too.
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Jas Kaur is a mother, wife and the founder of Goodwill Glasses.
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Above and Beyond

12/2/2017

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Pointer to a short inspirational video featuring Judaline Cassidy
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"We did a disservice to our country by the images we portray of tradespeople."  -- Judaline Cassidy
Many working parents have careers that benefit their own children in various ways. And some working parents put in extra effort to be sure that their careers benefit other people's children as well. Judaline Cassidy is one of these impressive people. Watch her short inspirational story on the TODAY show to learn more. 
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Judaline Cassidy became the first female plumber to be accepted into the Plumbers Local Union 371 in Staten Island, NY, and the first woman elected to the examining board of Plumbers Local Union No. 1 in New York, NY. She serves on the Advisory Committee of the soon-to-be constructed Women's Building of New York City, and she recently established the nonprofit Tools & Tiaras organization that strives to introduce young women to the field of construction.
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