​The first 50 Working Parent Stories produced some surprises. The second 50 stories produced the following learnings:

1. Working parents are trying very hard to be great parents and great employees.
   Parents repeatedly described the great efforts they put forth to be the best parents possible while delivering strong contributions at work too.
   Example:  Wednesdays and Why I Endure Them
   ​
2. Some working fathers are starting to face “the choice”.
   As more women are out-earning their spouses, men are sometimes forced to chose between careers and managing the home full-time.
   Example:  Beyond the Benefits
   
   
3. Working mothers are often clear about the fact that they want to set a good example for their kids.
   Mothers often talk about their strong desires to set good examples for their children via their careers.
   Examples:  They Say I'll be Glad and Leading by Example
   
   
4. Some working parents manage “special needs” in addition to traditional parenting and careers.
   These parents are juggling even more than many others. They're inspiring!
   Example:  You Are A Superhero and Some Days I Really Dislike Facebook
   
   
5. Some working mothers still endure a steady stream of “micro discouragements”.
   Even though it's not unusual for parents to work anymore, some mothers still find their commitment to their families questioned (often subtlely) when they pursue careers.
   Example:  Beyond the Benefits​​
   
   
6. Working parents in 29 countries are reading these stories.
   It's a small world after all.
   View the Map
   
   

What have you learned from the stories?

Submitted by Kelly Irwin

Pointer to a video about Rachel Freier

Some parents have a lot of children. Some parents follow religious traditions. And some parents have demanding jobs. This parent broke the mold when she combined all three. Watch this video (~6 min) to learn more about her impressive story on the Megyn Kelly TODAY show. 

Submitted by The Mama Politic

Both of my parents worked when I was growing up. My husband's parents did too. So I guess it's not surprising that my husband and I went back to work after our baby was born. (And soon. I was back part-time after five weeks and full-time when she was nine weeks old.) I need my work to feel happy and connected to the world. My husband understands and is very supportive. We are far from perfect, but he definitely has my back professionally. This may be difficult for some couples to understand. I get that and wonder if maybe it's because they didn't have role models like ours.

While people don't always encourage working moms, I do think we've come a long way. Things are getting better. Back when I was in 3rd grade, my teacher once commented that she was sad for me. Her comment was prompted by the fact that my dad volunteered to attend a class field trip. Dads didn't do that very often back then. My mom had been very busy with job deadlines, and so my dad, who we didn't see as much during the workweek, was thankful to be able to attend. And even at that young age, I remember thinking the teacher's comment was odd because it didn't make me feel sad. I was glad he could come! When I told my mom how my teacher felt, she told me that people said weird things to her too. She also told me that it was "none of their business". I grew up in Chicagoland, where plenty of moms worked, so it's a little surprising that people weren't more supportive.

My husband also endured some negativity because his mom worked. He grew up in a small farming community in rural Missouri with a population of ~1,000. His mom was very ambitious and ran her own tax business. She was almost 41 years old when he was born, and, get this, he was born in April! That meant she was back at work (finishing tax returns) just days after he was born. He was her fourth kid, so by the time he arrived she knew the routine and just did what needed to be done. Her husband, my husband's dad, always supported her work, but apparently it bothered some other people. While she is considered a pillar of the community, she's also been considered "peculiar" by at least a few. My husband told me that once, when he was in school, he got into a fight with someone who made fun of him because his mom worked. And when he misbehaved at school, teachers told him it was because his mother "neglected him".

Hopefully our kids won't have any stories like these. Lots of parents I know, including my husband and me, work very hard to prove the remaining doubters wrong. And we'd like to think that our parents already have. 

Submitted by Kathy Haselmaier

When I think of the holidays, stress is the strongest feeling that washes over me. It shouldn't. At least not now. My kids are grown, and I have very little to worry about. But years and years of the real deal (i.e. stress) are hard to shake.

On Thanksgiving, I asked my kids (now 27 and 22) to list their top fun Christmas memories. Here's what they told me:

• Receiving a ping pong table
• The "emergency" trip to the airport (to "help some friends"), when they found Grandma and Grandpa getting off the plane instead of our friends' relatives 
• Seeing a fox on the front porch on Christmas morning
• Receiving an iPod
• A Christmas morning scavenger hunt 
• Artichokes for Christmas dinner
• Relaxing for multiple days
  
  

What they didn't list was even more interesting. They didn't mention the cooking, the cleaning, the decorating, or any of the million other little things that stressed me out each year. They didn't mention any of the holiday concerts or programs we dutifully attended. They didn't mention the way the ornaments were so neatly arranged on the tree. They didn't mention the vast selection of cookies we made, or any of the food prep really ... well, except the artichokes we had that one year. 

The scavenger hunt took place the year we were worried about money and gave them very little. It took them all morning and part of the afternoon to find those few gifts thanks to the never-ending trail of clues and the secret code that had to be deciphered.

These reflections have me thinking. Was my stress self-imposed? Was I trying to please my kids? Was I trying to please someone else? There is no doubt in my mind that a significant amount of my stress resulted from my desire to meet at least perceived expectations of others. And that leads me to wonder; what could each of us do to let others and ourselves off the hook this year? 

There are some articles with good suggestions listed below. In the meantime, what are your thoughts? 

Maybe one of the most valuable gifts we could give each other is the gift of lower expectations.

Submitted by Kathy Haselmaier

Few people I know find it easy to keep their house clean while raising kids, and we were no different. But I need some semblance of order to be able to think (and I mean that quite literally), so we kept things under control by hiring someone to come in and clean once a week. We actually started doing this the month we were married and didn't cut back to every-other-week help until our youngest left for college.

One of the biggest benefits of cleaning help is that you have to pick up your stuff before they arrive. Otherwise they'll spend too much time just moving stuff around. So one night a week (the night before cleaning day) we all engaged in a mad dash to put our stuff away. Everyone pitched in, and it always felt like a crisis. There was whining, there were accusations, and at least one of us was usually disgruntled about something. Then, when the task was finished, we rewarded ourselves with ice cream.

I get that not every family is in a position to hire someone to help with cleaning, but every family could modify this idea to meet at least some of their own cleaning needs.

It's also worth noting that the older the kids got, the less they whined about it. By the time they were in junior high or high school, it was just a thing that they did. What I liked most was that it kept things from getting totally out of control, and the ice cream enabled us to end on a good note.

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Pointer to video featuring Jas Kaur

Jas Kaur, mother of four, launched Goodwill Glasses last March (2017). As a working mom she strives to help others while setting a good example for her children. She tells her story in this very short video (< 2 min). This article tells her story too.

Pointer to a short inspirational video featuring Judaline Cassidy

Many working parents have careers that benefit their own children in various ways. And some working parents put in extra effort to be sure that their careers benefit other people's children as well. Judaline Cassidy is one of these impressive people. Watch her short inspirational story on the TODAY show to learn more.