Working Parent Stories
  • Home
  • Why
  • Stories
    • Index
    • Feedback
    • Submit >
      • Guidelines
      • Updates
    • Inspiration
    • Tips | Thoughts | Ideas
  • Book
    • Amazon-WW
    • Gifts
    • Borrow Book
    • Book Club
  • Store
  • Contact
    • Services
    • Connect
    • Subscribe
    • Metrics

Index of Stories

The Incredible Challenge

9/21/2017

4 Comments

 
Submitted by Jay Rooney
Picture
"... as she smiles and giggles at me, everything else — my worries, my anxieties, my fears, my insecurities — seems so insignificant."
I was newly-married and knee-deep in my career when my wife found out she was pregnant with Josie. Like most expectant parents, we were excited, nervous, and bursting with anticipation to welcome the newest member of our family.

Then, just 24 hours after she was born, Josie was diagnosed with an ultra-rare heart condition called Tetralogy of Fallot with Pulmonary Atresia. (Jimmy Kimmel spoke about his son, who had the same illness, right around the same time.) She was whisked away to the cardiovascular ICU at Stanford University Medical Center, where she had open-heart surgery at just 3-days-old. For the next three months, we stood by her side as she recovered. Seeing your child sedated, scarred, and hooked up to so many wires is among the most horrifying sights for a parent. And being immersed in the chaos and isolation of the ICU for such a prolonged time took a huge toll on my wife's and my physical and emotional health, and severely tested our relationship.
But eventually, she did get better, and we were able to take her home (until her next surgery later on). Fortunately, thanks to California's labor laws, we still had jobs to come back to, but Josie's special needs necessitated one of us to stay home and care for her around the clock. My wife, Jenny, having prior medical experience, was a natural fit. Meanwhile, I assumed a breadwinner role and made sure we could keep a roof over our heads.
Picture
Josie's mom, Jenny
So now, we went from being textbook DINKs ("Dual Income, No Kids") to being a household of three, with one breadwinner. To make matters worse, a seasonal gig I had done for years fell through, throwing another wrench into our plans.

But as any parent will tell you, we will move earth and sea to make sure our children are safe and happy. And so I did. Even though I already work full-time, teach part-time, and volunteer (along with caring for Josie), I've started freelancing on the weekends so that Josie will always have a warm room to sleep in, so that she will never run out of food or medicine, so that she'll have nice toys, books, and clothes, and so she can build as many happy memories as she can with her parents.

Is it hard? Yes. It's incredibly challenging. I don't sleep much, or well, these days. But when I come home, hold my baby daughter, and look into her eyes as she smiles and giggles at me, everything else — my worries, my anxieties, my fears, my insecurities — seems so insignificant. She is what is important. She's the one I work so hard for, and she deserves it all (and more). I need her as much as she needs me. She makes it all worth it.

If I were to give advice to other working parents, I'd tell them three things.
  1. Remember who you work for. Spend as much time with your family as much as possible. Having a child is a gift and a blessing, and we all know how much they refocus our priorities. Make as much time for your children as you can (without skirting your work responsibilities, of course). Cherish every moment you spend together — and carry those moments with you. They will motivate you to do the best you can, as well as sustain you when things get too hectic at the office.
  2. Children (and their parents!) are much more resilient than we give them credit for. Josie, an infant, survived three months in the ICU. So whenever I, an adult, am feeling overwhelmed, I breathe deeply and remember that. There is nothing you and your child can't overcome. Whether it's work stuff, money stuff, marriage stuff, or something else entirely ... whatever it is you're going through, you've got this!
  3. Don't read parenting books or follow parenting trends. Parenting fads, like any fad, are fickle — "experts" will suggest one thing now, and the complete opposite thing five years later. But we've been raising kids for the hundreds of thousands of years we've been a species. It's not that complicated; just remember: you're not the first, and you're not the last. Just make sure your child gets lots of love, lots of attention, and learns right from wrong. Everything else, you'll figure out.

    (However, DO seek out groups of parents to talk and listen to, and seek support from those who've been there before. Especially if your child struggles with illness or has other special needs)

Parenting is life's most challenging endeavor. But it's also the most rewarding. My love for Josie knows no bounds, and anytime she falls asleep in my arms, I know that no matter how tough things get, and no matter how many problems I'm facing, everything is fine, and everything will be fine.

If you can relate to that last paragraph, don't worry — chances are, you're doing it right!

More on Josie's story:
  • Second surgery the week of Sep 23, 2017 (via CaringBridge) 
  • Josie's Toesies
  • Berkeley newborn struggles with condition made famous by Jimmy Kimmel​
Picture
Jay Rooney is a Freelance Commercial Writer, University Professor, Self-Published Author, and Publicist who holds a ​MS in Integrated Marketing Communications from Golden Gate University. He offers copywriting, copyediting, and brand storytelling solutions to small businesses, nonprofits, and marketing agencies in the San Francisco Bay Area and nationwide. Keep up with his (and Josie's) journey by following @RamblingRooney on Twitter.
Related stories:
  • You Are A Superhero
  • Charli's Angels
Read More Stories
Don't Miss a Story
4 Comments
Jon Thorne link
9/23/2017 05:57:09 am

Minus the health issues (which must be such an added intensity to everything), I very much relate to your story. I'm a new father at the age of 45, on a single income, living in Japan. I started off with many books, read many online articles, but have moved onto "well this works for ME". It's hard not stress and worry, but a child's laughter truly inspires. Thanks for sharing and the advice.

The New Papa
thenewpapa.com

Reply
Kathy Haselmaier link
9/23/2017 10:19:49 am

Your web site (TheNewPapa.com) is great, Jon!

Reply
Jon link
9/25/2017 05:19:48 am

Thanks! I just started and am still working out the kinks. I hope to build something as great as Jay's.

Leticia Falquier link
9/25/2017 01:18:12 am

Beautifully written, Jay.
As Josie's grandmother, I couldn't be prouder of such a determined and fiery baby girl. I have the utmost respect for you, Jay and Jenny, as a couple and her parents. Your love, commitment, dedication and discipline have been the driven forces that continue to keep you sane and hopeful. Josie couldn't have asked for better parents. I love you JJ&J oh so dearly. You are such an inspiration. Thank you.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    The Stories

    Picture
    Paperback | Kindle | Audible
    Read More Stories
    Don't Miss a Story
    WorkingParentStory

    Archives

    January 2025
    March 2022
    September 2021
    July 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    October 2020
    August 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017

    Categories

    All
    Authors
    Balance
    Book Review
    Childcare
    Children
    Choices
    Compensation
    COVID 19
    COVID-19
    Crisis
    Culture
    Depression
    Eldercare
    Encouraging
    Fathers
    Finance
    Flexibility
    Fulfillment
    Funny
    Goals
    Guilt
    Health
    Independence
    Inspiring
    Kids: 5 12
    Kids: 5-12
    Kids: All Ages
    Kids: Babies
    Kids: Teens
    Kids: Toddlers
    Laundry
    Meals
    Medical
    Mornings
    Most Popular
    Mothers
    Parental Leave
    Perceptions
    Pregnancy
    Provacative
    School
    Self Esteem
    Self-esteem
    Stamina
    Stress
    Teachers
    TED Talks
    Telecommuting
    Tenacity
    Thought Provoking
    Time
    Tips
    Travel
    Videos
    Wage Gap

    RSS Feed

Working Parent Stories

Copyright © 2025  |  Working Parent Stories  |  Colorado, USA  
Photos from barnimages.com, marcoverch, truewonder, donnierayjones, marcoverch, shixart1985, Gustavo Devito, edenpictures, nan palmero, quapan, The Pumpkin Theory, bark, opassande, Semtrio, Ivan Radic (CC BY 2.0), verchmarco (CC BY 2.0), Didriks, shawnzrossi, shixart1985 (CC BY 2.0), madprime, marksmorton, CT Arzneimittel GmbH, NwongPR, franchiseopportunitiesphotos, anotherlunch.com, jdlasica, wuestenigel, Frinthy, romanboed, Doris Tichelaar, quinn.anya, A_Peach, VisitLakeland, MEDION Pressestelle, Darren Wilkinson, bratislavskysamospravnykraj, Anthony Quintano, Danielle Scott, pockethifi, Bridgette Rehg, Martin Pettitt, PersonalCreations.com, wuestenigel, Thad Zajdowicz, archer10 (Dennis) 139M Views, Infomastern, beltz6, The National Guard, futurestreet, daveynin, OIST (Okinawa Institute of Science and Technology), Rinet IT, shixart1985, mikecogh, JeepersMedia, Ryan Polei | www.ryanpolei.com, Jake.Christopher., aleksandrajovovich, thepeachpeddler, wwward0, flossyflotsam, Got Credit, Senado Federal, Corvair Owner, lookcatalog, moodboardphotography, dejankrsmanovic, Carine fel, ElleFlorio, {Guerrilla Futures | Jason Tester}, greg westfall., Arlington County, mariaronnaluna, quinn.anya, wuestenigel, Tayloright, insatiablemunch, MrJamesBaker, Scorius, Alan Light, Monkey Mash Button, www.audio-luci-store.it, wohlford, Vivian Chen [陳培雯], okchomeseller, BoldContent, Ivan Radic, verchmarco, donnierayjones, Czar Hey, US Department of Education, Andrew Milligan Sumo, Michel Curi, anotherlunch.com, ProFlowers.com, Cultural viewpoints from around the world, alubavin, yourbestdigs, Rod Waddington, Tayloright, Wonder woman0731, yourbestdigs, donald judge, Thomas Leth-Olsen, Infinity Studio, shixart1985, wuestenigel, francesbean, Roger Blackwell, MrJamesBaker, Luca Nebuloni, MFer Photography, erinw519, boellstiftung, North Carolina National Guard, A m o r e Caterina, MrJamesBaker, bellaellaboutique, Free For Commercial Use (FFC), Prayitno / Thank you for (12 millions +) view, wuestenigel, Matt From London, MadFishDigital, Kompentenzzentrum Frau und Beruf, mikecogh, CreditDebitPro, marciadotcom, Mr.Sai, _steffen
  • Home
  • Why
  • Stories
    • Index
    • Feedback
    • Submit >
      • Guidelines
      • Updates
    • Inspiration
    • Tips | Thoughts | Ideas
  • Book
    • Amazon-WW
    • Gifts
    • Borrow Book
    • Book Club
  • Store
  • Contact
    • Services
    • Connect
    • Subscribe
    • Metrics