They Say I'll Be Glad

Submitted by ​Chatón Turner

"I also hope that my example ... will serve to teach my children what is possible."

I'm a "Working mom on a quest for balance in stilettos". My children are 7 and 3-years-old, and we have another one on the way. I'm a wife to Andre Smith. And I'm also an attorney for a healthcare system, an adjunct professor, and a public speaker. In my "spare time" I maintain a social media presence via my chatonsworld.com web site, @Chatonsworld account on Twitter, and @chatonsworld account on Instagram. Obviously I like to write and communicate.

Balancing all of my roles is my biggest challenge. Indeed, Corporate America is still not very accommodating to working parents, and many organizations do not have formal flexible work policies. The culture and lack of flexibility makes balance incredibly hard. Still, I'm driven by high standards and a vision for the lifestyle I want to provide for my kids. My income matters to my family, and my family matters to me, so I try to do it all. I also hope that my example -- trying, working hard, and persevering despite these challenges -- will serve to teach my children what is possible.

​One of the keys to our success has been lots of organization, planning, and focus. And understanding that we may drop the ball from time to time. We experimented with outside help too and had full-time nannies that were with us ~10 hours/day for a while. Last year we tried going without help, but it only lasted for two months. It clearly wasn't a long-term solution because it would have required our daughter, 6-years-old at the time, to give up all of her activities. Right now we have help that includes pick-up and drop off for our daughter's activities so she can continue with them.

My son reuniting with his nanny. It's a love fest every time!

Luckily I have good role models at work, and my mom worked the whole time I was growing up so I know it can be done. Maybe being a working parent is like childbirth. After powering through my own drug-free child birth experience, just like my mom had done, I asked her why she hadn't told me about the pain. It seemed like it might have been worth mentioning! She said "Nobody talks about it because if we did nobody would do it." So, like I said, maybe it's the same for working parents.

People tell me that I need to  power through the working parent struggles to get to the glory, and I'm in it for the glory of my kids. Hopefully these people are right!

Chatón T. Turner is a mother, wife, senior associate counsel (attorney) at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center, and adjunct professor at the University of Pittsburgh School of Law. You can follow her via @Chatonsworld on Twitter, @chatonsworld on Instagram, and via her chatonsworld.com web site.

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• ​Leading By Example

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